This is my first post on this blog. I have another blog but I get bored with it sometimes. I decided I needed something more about me and my life.
To start off, my life is one big mess. I'm the type of person that goes with whatever life throws at me although sometimes it's really hard to go with the flow. Between my school life and home life, it's just so stressful and it makes me just want to scream and start everything all over. Why? Well, first of all, I'm a senior in high school and I really want to do great this year. My GPA is very low and the counselor said if I keep my grades up, colleges will be coming to me because I've tried so hard for the past four years. Now, I have doubts. See, I've got all A's and B's EXCEPT for the F in Stats class. It's very stressful because I'm trying SO hard but math is really hard for me and no matter how hard I try, I still don't get it. The only reason why I took the class is because people said it would be easy and I thought maybe it would be an extra credit for me but guess what? The people that told me it was easy must be genius's at math because it's not easy. Now, I'm struggling to get my grade back up to a D at least because it's almost the end of the semester and I want to graduate. After this semester, however, I think I'm going to drop the class for some other class that's not math. I don't want anything to get in the way of me graduating because if I don't graduate, I'll let everyone that has helped me get this far down and I'll fail at life. My parents would be the most disappointed. My dad didn't graduate because he didn't care about school and my mom graduated but didn't go to college because she just wanted to have fun and not focus on her future like my dad. So all in all , I'm VERY pressured to finish high school this year. UGH! Help me please!
If that isn't bad enough, my home life is fucked up too. My parents are completely poor. No not the expression, literally poor. We barely have any money at all and since my dad has been on disability for his back we're even worse. I mean I'm 18 and I cannot afford to get my permit to get a job to get a car. It's so frustrating to hear people at school with cellphones and ipods and nice clothes talk about how they ain't got shit. It makes me want to punch the stupid, ungrateful brats in the face and their parents for not teaching them to appreciate anything they've got. It's people like that that need a serious wake up call to where they realize, 'hey, maybe my life ain't so bad after all and there's other people out there that have worse problems than me'. Ya, sure you say I'm jealous. So, what's your point? I am jealous. I'm jealous of not being able to afford anything but guess what? I've got something that they'll never have and that is appreciation for things. Even the smallest things, like buying a new pair of shoes (when I have the money), I appreciate. I'm not some snot-nosed little stuck-up brat that has their mommy and daddy buy them a new sports car. Hell no. When I was fifteen and I asked my parents for a car, I knew it was a stupid question but I asked anyways. They said maybe for my sixteenth birthday. Let's just say my birthday came and went like any other day. Do I feel sorry for myself? Hell no. I learned to not trust anyone and when someone promises you something to not take it literal. Most of the time, they're just saying that to make you feel better and to get your hopes up. There's a saying that I love and it's, "Whatever doesn't kill me will only make me stronger" Dam, it's amazing how true that is. All the hardships in my life have made me stronger and wiser.
